Psychology has it place in the world. I love psychology, even have a graduate degree in the subject. I completely geek out on the study of human behavior, motivation, theories, techniques, cognitive and behavioral modification therapies, well I think you get it. While psychology can give us a glimpse and help us understand the underlying reasons we behave or think the way we do, it does not necessarily do a great job in helping those of us in our everyday life. We can spend a whole lot of time breaking down why we did something, or why we think the thoughts we think that led us to the behavior, but if all we are doing is continually looking at the past then we never be able to enjoy our life in the present.
To make truly profound shifts and transformations in any area of life, whether it is business, relationships, financial, and even in your spiritually, you must acknowledge the past for what it is and incorporate what you gained or learned from the experience. Acknowledge the past as something that it is done, complete and can do nothing to you right now in this moment nor any other moment in the future. We cannot go back; we cannot make changes to the past. Trust me, I tried to go back a few times and it did not work, it only left me sitting there exhausted, scared, frustrated and embarrassed.
Even though the past is already a done deal, I see it taking over and destroying so many lives, relationships and businesses. The past is weighing so heavily on people because they keep trying to change it, control it, run it over repeatedly in their mind. They keep it as a focal point and filter for which they live their lives. Herein lies the danger, because what you focus on will surely grow. It cannot help but grow because while you are focused on the past there is no room for anything else.
Maybe you don’t focus on the past; perhaps you do everything in your power to resist the past. You create ways to never repeat the past and avoid it at all cost. Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but what you resist will continue to persist. Yes, the past is still a strong focal point even when you are resisting. It takes a great deal of effort and energy to resist something. It would be like me telling you not to think about zebras for the rest of the day. You are not allowed to picture a zebra in your mind today. What just happened? Are you thinking about a zebra right now? Well stop thinking about zebras already! Oh wait that is just the resistance thing I was just mentioning. Resistance and avoidance do not work very well. This is why just trying to think positive thoughts all the time to avoid negative thinking often backfires.
Here is what I believe. We must start with where we are right now. Look around you. Is your life what you want it to be? If not, what do you want your life to be like or feel like? Oh, that sounds wonderful! Get yourself dreaming again, light yourself up, get enthusiastic about life.
Uh oh! Let me guess, you have a voice in your head telling you: you can’t have that, you can’t do that, oh that is selfish, how will you get that done, you don’t have that kind of money, you definitely don’t have the personality, your family would never go for that….
Every single one of those little voices in your mind are nothing more than a distraction. They hold no truth in them whatsoever. The mind loves to hear itself talk and it loves to tell you that you cant. But I am telling you that you absolutely can. If you are still reading this I know you can and have probably gotten over more distractions in your life than others to get you to where you are in life today.
Start where you are right now. Determine where you are today and if it is not where you would like to be, started taking steps today. There are infinite possibilities out there waiting for you. You know which ones light your fire and inspire you. Your past cannot hold you down when you see it as it is, in the past. You are free to live and experience this life in this moment with a clear and curious mind and an open heart.